404: Gender Not Found
by AmberMX
Summary: Leo is hella queer and Nico is slow to catch on. agender!Leo, content warnings inside


**A/N:** Let there be warnings! Not much here (dis fluffy) but content warning for **reactionary views, slight internalised homophobia, slight internalised transphobia**. Nothing strong, just Nico being a 1930s leftover and going "wait whut you can't do that". Also, as the story progresses, Leo's pronouns change, per coming-out, hope it's not confusing.

* * *

'Valdez!' Nico called. Hazel had sent him to fetch the mechanic, and since Bunker Nine was, more or less, a minefield full of junk and not exactly trustworthy inventions, plus the occasional homicidal automaton, he didn't feel any desire to venture deeper into the place than necessary.

'Valdez!' he repeated, louder.

'A minute', was yelled from somewhere behind a particularly suspicious-looking stack of… parts, Nico guessed. 'You can come round if you must.'

He rolled his eyes and, careful not to touch anything, navigated past a row of workbenches and what seemed to be welding stations. After ducking under the arm of an industrial robot and turning a corner, Leo finally came into view, hunched over a desk and doing… whatever he did. There was something odd about him, but Nico couldn't quite figure out what.

'Hey', he greeted. 'Hazel says—'

Leo held up a finger, as if to say 'wait a minute', and wordlessly bent down to do Hephaestus-knows-what with whatever he was working on. After knowing him for several years, Nico didn't even flinch as the tinkerer briefly burst into flames during the procedure.

'Sorry, what was that?' Leo asked once the fire had died down. He examined his workpiece, still incandescent between his bare fingers, and, apparently satisfied, put it down on the desk.

'Hazel sends me', Nico repeated. 'She says you promised her and Frank to accompany them into town today.'

Leo frowned. 'Yeah, on Friday.'

'It _is _Friday.'

'Wait, what?'

'It is Friday. You've been in here since', Nico briefly tried to remember, 'Tuesday morning.'

'Oh.'

'So, are you coming, or…?'

'Huh? Oh, yeah, just let me', Leo turned to a complicated-looking apparatus on the wall and began flicking switches and levers, 'turn this off real quick.' He winked at Nico. 'Safety first.'

After the last of the gears had stopped turning, Leo finally allowed himself to be led out of the bunker by Nico. Once outside, away from the dim light that had struggled to illuminate the inside, Nico could see him better, and his face…

'Is that lipstick?'

'Huh?' The mechanic's hand briefly touched his own face, as if he had to check himself. 'Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is.'

Nico stared, puzzled. 'But… you're a boy.'

'If you say so.'

Δ

The Hephaestus Cabin's most striking feature, Nico thought, was its utter lack of any coherent design. Over the centuries, it had grown, with the occasionally basement added, chimney tacked on, or window welded shut, and the result looked more like an inbred tin can than a house.

A few seconds after his knocking, one of the cabin's inhabitants—Shane, Nico remembered—opened the door. Judging by the grease all over their hands, Nico had caught him in the middle of a repair (or maybe he had just forgotten to shower).

'Hi. Uhm, is Leo there? Chiron sent me, someone broke the mechanical duck in Arts & Crafts and Mr D quarantined the whole place until someone can turn it off.'

Shane stepped aside and nodded towards the back of the cabin. 'In the workshop. You know the way, right?'

'Yeah.'

The sound of a drill filled the basement as he stepped off the crude elevator-like construction that connected the workshop to the actual cabin above. Through the blast doors, which he could have sworn hadn't been there the month before, he could see Leo at a workbench, and one of his siblings next to him.

'Nico!' he was greeted once he entered the room. 'You gotta look at this, we're building—'

'Chiron calls', Nico interrupted him. The tinkerer's face lit up.

'Really? Did he finally approve my plans for the canoe rollercoaster? I called it, he's gonna change his mind about it! I showed the plans to Percy and _he_ thought it was great, I said, you tell Chiron—'

'Not this again. It's about the duck.'

The dismissive waving of Leo's screwdriver made it more than clear what he thought about the matter. He stepped around the desk in the centre of the room and reached for a file off a shelf and for the first time, Nico could see all of him.

'Leo… you're wearing a skirt.'

'Why, thanks Sherlock, I wouldn't have noticed,' He slid the tool into one of the skirt's several pockets. 'It's called a cargo skirt, Dracula. You should try one, it's comfy.'

'But… that's a skirt.'

The tinkerer cocked his head. 'Yeah? I think we established that already. You said "Leo, you're wearing a skirt", and I said—'

'No', Nico interrupted him. 'I meant… _that's a skirt._'

With a theatrical gesture, Leo turned to a non-existent audience. 'Ladies and gentlethems, it seems our most beloved goth is broken. Tune in to the Valdez Show to see how I fix him, and see you after the commercials!'

He playfully knocked the grip of a screwdriver against Nico's head. 'Yes, it's a skirt. Close your mouth, you're gonna let a draft in.'

'But… skirts are for girls!' Nico finally managed. 'Boys can't', okay, clearly they _could_, 'I mean, boys aren't supposed to wear those!'

Leo's expression hardened. 'You know, I keep saying Jason is our Captain America, but you sure nail the "mindset from the past" thing, you know.'

He turned back towards his workbench. 'Tell Chiron I'm coming. And close the door behind you on the way out.'

Δ

'You are… what?'

'Agender', Leo repeated.

Nico scratched his head. 'I'm still not getting it. I mean, how can you just… _not_ have a gender?'

'Why not? Error, no gender found. Component not installed. I'm not a boy or a girl, I just am.' Leo shrugged and forced a grin. 'A McShizzle Valdez with extra spice and no gender, order coming up!'

'Uhhhhh…'

The mechanic sighed. 'Really, have you always been so clueless? I mean, it's not like I didn't give you plenty of hints.'

'Wait, when?' Nico was fairly sure he couldn't remember any, even as he racked his brain, going through everything that had happened over the past weeks.

Leo groaned. 'Come on, really? All the times I joked about it? When I doodled crossed out circles on your notes and said it was a no-gender symbol? When I wrote "no" instead of male or female on all of Will's forms after you dragged me there to get my flu checked out?'

Nico shook his head.

'I even painted a pride flag on my door!' Leo exclaimed. The son of Hades could vaguely recall something colourful on the bunker's entrance indeed.

'I, uh, I thought you'd just wanted to make it more homely? I mean, grey and green isn't exactly warm colours, but…'

Leo flopped onto a chair. 'Nevermind. I give up. You wouldn't even recognise a hint if it stood in front of you with a megaphone.'

'No, no, I get it', Nico hurried to say. 'Ok no I don't, but I'm trying to understand. I mean… no forget about that. Just… I'll try to understand. Promise.'

For the first time, a faint smile of relief crept onto Leo's features.

'Thanks, man.'

'So, uhm, what should I call you then? Like, he, she, or I don't know…'

Δ

'Do you think she saw us?' Leo whispered. Nico shrugged.

The two of them were cowering between the bushes that surrounded the Demeter cabin. A few dozen metres ahead, one of the camp's cleaning harpies was stalking around between the cabins, as if to sniff out any loose demigods, such as themselves.

'You know', Nico whispered back, 'technically the curfew doesn't even apply to us.'

Leo's dismissive grunt made it clear what they thought of that, and Nico had to admit that he, too, had no desire to argue about that with the harpy.

'I could have just shadow-travelled us', he hissed. 'I wasn't the one who decided he need—who decided they needed to "just finish this" this evening.'

'Don't hurry the artist', Leo whispered back. 'And none of your shadow stuff, I don't want to become some sort of zombie.'

'CAMPERS NOT IN BED! CAMPERS OUTSIDE! HARPIES ARE GOING TO FEAST TONIGHT!'

They jumped up the screeching voice, just in time to see the beast charging towards them. Leo hastily grabbed Nico by the hand and pulled the shorter demigod along. They raced around the corner of the cabin and into its shadow…

…and stumbled onto the floor of the Hades cabin, one large mess of arms, legs and heads.

'Your knees in my stomach' was mumbled from under Nico, and he quickly untangled himself from Leo.

'I thought I said no shadow-travel', lamented Leo. 'I could have woken up dead! Or with bones sticking out of me! Or with an insatiable desire to eat brains! Or with my soul sold to—'

'Shut up', Nico panted. 'Would you rather have the harpies eat you?'

'Hmpf', Leo grumbled. 'I guess not.' Their face lit up. 'Hey, we're in your cabin, alone, after curfew…'

Nico rolled his eyes. 'Just kiss me, alright?'

Δ

'I've been thinking… we haven't really put a label on this, right?'

Leo squinted against the blinding sun, absent-mindedly playing with Nico's hair on their stomach. 'Huh?'

'This… relationship thing.'

'Ah. Guess we haven't.'

A brief silence followed before Nico continued.

'The other day, Alice from Cabin Fourteen asked if you're my boyfriend.'

Leo frowned. 'What'd you say?'

Nico moved his head into a more comfortable position against Leo. 'I told her to mind her own business, but I wondered…'

He left the sentence unfinished. Leo pondered the question while still running their hands through Nico's curls.

'Boyfriend?' they eventually offered. 'I mean, you're the boyfriend. I could be your, I dunno… what about partner? We could make people wonder whether we're dating or co-running a detective agency. They'll think you're the Watson to my Holmes, the Rhodes to my Stark, the—'

'I get it', Nico interrupted. 'Ok, but for real, whatever word is okay for you.'

'Uhh.' Leo hesitated and their fingers stilled momentarily. 'Don't make fun of me, okay?'

'Promise.'

'I was thinking… uhh… really, I'm serious… thembabe?'

The sounds of barely contained chuckling erupted somewhere near Leo's navel.

'That', Nico choked out, 'is the most adorable word I've ever heard.'

'Deal?'

'Deal.'

The two fell into a comfortable silence again and Leo picked up their caressing of Nico's hair again, until…

'Did you just meow?'

Nico clamped his mouth shut. 'No.'

A giggle forced its way out of Leo until they were shaking with laughter. 'Oh gods, you actually—I mean—Zeus underpants, wait until I tell Jason about this.'

'Meow!'

* * *

**A/N:** I have no idea what the mechanical duck in Arts & Crafts is supposed to be, but I thought it sounded funny. I'm kind of imagining a giant automaton that nobody can control and that occasionally goes rogue.


End file.
